We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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