They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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