yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
