Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
