If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dick very happy bro
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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