Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
