the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
