Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
