the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just want to make out with him forever
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
