Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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