why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
