btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
