We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize