Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
