I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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