I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
