I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
