I just pynch a tree in the face
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
