What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
