You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
