there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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