'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
