You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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