He uses pillows to masturbate.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
this hospital has no fireball
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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