doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
