everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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