Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
