we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
