I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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