Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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