sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
