wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
