it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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