respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
