this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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