I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
