I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
