You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
