WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
