"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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