Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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