ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
