Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
