And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
