I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I could have mohawked her pubes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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