Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize