I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We had to coat check the pizza.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
