If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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