he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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