I met the friendliest cop last night
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
