my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
