shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
