let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
