I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think people are normalizing furries
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