Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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