i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize