Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
