i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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