We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize