so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
