peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
