I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
