I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize