I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize