Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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