I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
