you're like a bully in the Christmas story
nutella sex= disaster
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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