I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
