he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
