maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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